Let's Not Make Them Swamp Things

Good Madame M:

It used to be disturbing that so many teens and twenty-somethings did not respond when addressed (“good morning,” “how’s it going?”  “great weather eh?”), but now it’s actually the exception when one does.  Not a particularly good sign for community. 

Maturity is defined by psychologists and social researchers as: 1) desire and ability to assume greater responsibility; 2) ability and willingness to delay gratification; 3) ability to sufficiently channel and control emotions, especially when confronted with adversity, whether relationship, professional, economic, or social interaction; 4) ability to encounter information and reasonably choose the likeliest course for desired result (and seeking counsel or wisdom beforehand is a turbo sign of maturity); 5) ability to focus, be dependable, and keep long-term commitments; 6) secure enough in identity that neither flattery nor criticism excessively alter identity;  and 7) the desire to connect with others and realize that others are necessary to have a satisfactory life and satisfactory social structure (and gratitude is another boost to maturity).

Of course, well-intentioned hovering parents have often contributed to the delayed maturity.  So has, according to some researchers, cannabis use.

I agree with you whole-heartedly on the shameful state of higher education student support in this country.   By the way, here’s a wild idea to fix much of that problem:  A Crazy Idea to Fix College <https://www.linkedin.com/e/v2?e=4rjfok-i45gsda4-46&t=plh&midToken=AQHZMDARaTq38g&ek=b2_content_ecosystem_digest&li=5&m=hero&urlhash=Nhiq&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Elinkedin%2Ecom%2Ftoday%2Fpost%2Farticle%2Fbig-idea-2015-lets-rethink-jeff-selingo>

And your last two paragraphs of your post: absolute gold.  We sometimes forget that our collective decisions, not just our individual or family ones, have fomented the fetid, diseased, vast swamp we expect our young adults to somehow make it through and thrive. 

Once we have corrected other things,perhaps we should give thought to deglamorizing alcohol, as many of the Europeans have.  When it is no longer so “forbidden,” perhaps it will bring with it more maturity toward it.  Camille Paglia, in the May 19, 2014 issue of TIME, makes a strong argument for bringing the drinking age, at least for beer and perhaps wine, back down to 18. 

Of course, if the culture keeps treating young males like disposable deviants, a bad problem is only going to get worse.  While we can seem to devote no focus toward civilizational problems, we are diverted by a plethora of less critical matters.  For instance, the silliness of affirmative consent.  In attempting to address a real problem—violence against and demeaning of women—we not only craft wonky, unworkable “solutions,” but we spend so much focus on them that the truly urgent and civilization-threatening crises go unattended to.

There is a need to reglue community and transform a manipulative culture.  But  put-upon young males get the barely disguised message: “Most of you can’t be trusted.” 

Oh yes, THAT will bring about the desired good effects! Grrr.  Sometimes the lack of vision, discernment, and thinking through to second and third order results is maddening.  We sure as heck need to get a whole lot wiser!