Madame M:
Two Can Play? You’re
making me feel like Holmes and Moriarty, lol.
And your post was so brief, readers might be thinking that either 1) you
are subtly hinting to me to embrace brevity, or 2) you are being “short” with
me for some reason. :)
Ah, so I surmise from your explanation that in those people
there is mis-associative allegiance then, where the people end up voting or
otherwise supporting something against their own interests, a la What’s The
Matter With Kansas?
I’VE disturbed your focus?
My powers aren’t as feeble as I thought! :)
As for why we can’t be offended AND listen, I can surmise many
reasons (a sampling listed shortly), but first I want to note that because we
are disconnected, because we feel semi-isolated and vulnerable in a world that
seems off-kilter and beyond our control, our sensitivity is heightened to
extremes.
So many of us, it seems, feel we are defending what we feel to
be the essence of ourselves against a world that is uncaring (and sometimes
cruelly uncaring) or even so fast changing that we feel stability and
familiarity is besieged or destroyed, and equilibrium but a dream. No one ever really tries to understand us
first (and forget about deeply) before we are categorized and dismissed (and
sometimes condemned) in some ridiculous oversimplification, or worse, a
caricature based on false information or misperception. And infuriatingly, the
dismissers then retreat into their electronics or other diversions, never
valuing us enough to listen to clarifications.
When some (real, imagined, or twisted) moral precept—often arrogantly
displayed from some position of supposed “superiority"—is inserted into the mix,
we get the situation so well described by famous political scientist Hans J.
Morgenthau: “Compromise,
the virtue of the old diplomacy, becomes the treason of the new; for the mutual
accommodation of conflicting claims, possible or legitimate with a common
framework of moral standards, amounts to surrender when the moral standards
themselves are the stakes of the conflict.”
In a call-in radio or
tv program, or a town hall, people try to talk non-stop, because they’re afraid
if they pause, someone might demonstrate the faulty foundations of their
thinking. Others keep talking because
it’s one of the few times in their lives that others pretend to hear and care.
All not exactly
conducive to connecting with our fellow citizens.
Sometimes I’ve thought
that you and I should found The Center For Listening and Connecting, where
people could go (maybe pay a nominal fee or maybe just a donation; haven’t
thought through that part) and someone would give them 15 minutes of their
undivided and silent attention, taking notes, and attempt to summarize what
they said afterwards. Where people could
go to get things off their chests to a real person, in person (not via social
media), where they can have their thoughts recorded on paper (well, electrons)
and feel like they were understood.
Where people could rent a soapbox (not even used anymore!) and speak to
a crowd of 5 or 10 people.
Maybe after people felt
their ids/egos/superegos were no longer under constant attack, where some
other, REAL (not virtual) people tried to understand them, then they’d be more receptive
to hearing what others had to say. And
maybe, just MAYBE, utter the words civil discourse longs to hear: “You know,
I’ve been thinking about what you said, and I see that there’s more to some
things than I thought. I may change my
mind about what I said before.”
Present me data,
Madame, on how many regular practitioners of meditation initiate violence, and
perhaps I can be persuaded to adopt your view!
I understand, however, your skepticism about any potential
universalities in the human condition!